Message from NCADV: The work goes on – we are not changing

Message from NCADV

Every four years, we as a nation are faced with change. At NCADV, we work to ensure that no matter who sits in the Oval Office, we never change our mission. We continue to work toward a society that has no tolerance for domestic violence. We give the same energy and passion to the voices and concerns of victims and survivors and the intersecting issues, no matter who the President-elect.

As we grasp what has occurred this week, we want to let you know: we are not changing. Our work remains the same. We will continue to work on your behalf and remain steadfast in our mission.

Our President-elect will receive the same message from us, and we will hold him and others accountable to ensuring the rights of women, girls, and those impacted by domestic violence are never compromised. We will continue to work on policy and strategies that support and address the needs of those we work for and serve as their voice. If our President-elect is serious about making change, he will vigorously address these issues. We will hold him accountable on any policy and action that puts victims and survivors at further risk, including policies that allow for hate, abuse, or violence.

Always take care of yourselves. We developed a list of self care tips for you to serve as a guide. Please take care of others. Reach out to those you hold dear.

Like you, I am determined to continue to make change. We will continue to work with our sister organizations and allies. We are still strong. We still have power, and we will not be swayed by anything other than what is right.

Remember these words from Audre Lourde: “When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.” We will continue to speak.

What Can You Do Today?
— Encourage self-care in your life and encourage others to do the same
— Volunteer with your nearest domestic violence program or shelter or contribute to your favorite national or local non-profit that is committed to change
— Sign up for public policy action alert emails from the NCADV

Be Well,

Ruth M. Glenn, NCADV Executive Director

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Filed under Domestic violence services

S.H.A.R.E., Inc. Receives Grant for General Operating

Fort Morgan, Colorado – S.H.A.R.E., Inc. announced October 12 that it has received a $25,000 Daniels Fund grant to support its domestic violence services in Morgan County. S.H.A.R.E., Inc., the Morgan County domestic violence agency, provides 24 hour crisis intervention, emergency shelter, food, transportation, and individual and group advocacy to victims of domestic violence and their children in our area.

In addition to the above services, they assist victims with safety planning, protection orders, victim compensation applications, and parenting plans, as well as courtroom accompaniment upon request.

“This grant will enable our program to continue vital emergency services, and will enhance our outreach efforts to provide advocacy and education to families who are experiencing violence in their homes,” said Jan Schiller, Executive Director.

The Daniels Fund, established by cable television pioneer Bill Daniels, is a private charitable foundation dedicated to making life better for the people of Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, and Wyoming through its grants program, scholarship program, and ethics initiative. Visit to learn more.
For more information about S.H.A.R.E., Inc., please call (970) 867-4444 or visit

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Filed under domestic violence, Domestic violence services

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and S.H.A.R.E., Inc.’s 35th Anniversary.

cropped-shareoffice-blog-banner.jpgOctober is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and at S.H.A.R.E., Inc. we are marking the 35th Anniversary of providing confidential services to victims of domestic violence in Morgan County.

Our history. The initial goal of the group that founded S.H.A.R.E., Inc., was finding a way to help two populations – recovering alcoholics, and battered women, under the name Safe Homes And Rehabilitative Environments (S.H.A.R.E., Inc.). As the organization was formed the group realized that it was not going to be possible to help both populations in one facility, and they decided to focus on helping battered women and their children.

In 1981, S.H.A.R.E., Inc. was officially founded as a nonprofit, community-based 501(c)(3) organization and initial start-up work was done by volunteers – to develop policies and procedures, recruit and train volunteer advocates, and secure funding. Volunteers were trained with a curriculum presented through a local community college.

The next step was implementing a network of safe homes, with trained volunteers opening their homes to victims and their children while administrative work was done around kitchen tables.

The first night in the new shelter. Once funding was secured, the organization was able to rent a house which became the administrative offices and shelter. The first night we had the key to the house, we took a crisis call from a woman with five children. This family desperately needed a safe place to escape the abuse in their home. The new facility had not been furnished yet, or the kitchen stocked, but we rounded up sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets, gathered some of our pots and pans, dishes and groceries, and the family slept securely that night in a safe place. Local women’s groups and other individuals helped furnish and stock the house and office.

Enhancing facilities and services. As new sources of funding became available through government grants, private foundations and local charities and fundraisers, we moved from an all-volunteer to full-time paid staff supplemented by a team of volunteers. Eventually, we were able to put on an addition to the shelter facility, and later we acquired a second building where the outreach client offices and administration are located, which increased the capacity at the shelter.

We are one of just two full service – with safe house facility  – community-based domestic violence programs in Northeast Colorado. We provide a comprehensive range of services tailored to individual needs, beginning with crisis intervention – with 24/7 access – to ongoing individual and group support in English and Spanish. We provide Teen Dating Violence Prevention curriculum in local schools and do community education and training.








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What is domestic violence?


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September 21, 2016 · 2:18 pm

12 Facts That Show How Guns Make Domestic Violence Even Deadlier

A statistical guide to firearms, intimate partner abuse, and the children, parents, and police who become victims, too.

by Kerry Shaw August 22, 2016

The complete article with graphics

This is not just another “guns and domestic violence” article – it is full of statistical information that makes it crystal clear how guns make domestic violence lethal to intimate partners, children, family members, friends, law enforcement, and even bystanders. Please read. – S.H.A.R.E., Inc.

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Filed under battered women, domestic violence, gun control, homicide, intimate partner violence, victims of crime, violence against women

Volunteer Advocate Training Begins September 10

Download and complete Volunteer Application

volunteer advocate training september 2016.jpg

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August 16, 2016 · 3:44 pm

The Importance of Using Accountable Language

The Importance of Using Accountable Language

by Phyllis B. Frank and Barry Goldstein

This article was conceived because of the frequency with which leaders of our movement and presenters at conferences use unaccountable language in our presentations and proposals, even as they deeply care about ending men’s violence against women and have devoted their lives to helping women partnered with abusive men.

Like all tools of oppression, unaccountable language is conditioned into our psyches, taught and learned as appropriate vocabulary and in socially acceptable sentence structure. Thus, unaccountable language is part of everyday parlance of people acting in complete good faith in trying to end men’s violence against women. We know this is true because as long as we have trained to avoid unaccountable language, we still sometimes make this error, as well. The movement to end domestic violence has not yet made the use of accountable language a priority. We hope this article will encourage all of us in the movement to do so. This is one program we can afford even in tight economic times.

Defining unaccountable language
Unaccountable language refers to the powerful messages embedded in all forms of speech and media that have all of us lapse into sentence structure that obscures perpetrators, minimizes their abuse, and supports blaming victims. One common example is the phrase “an abusive relationship.” The relationship did not hit the woman, but rather it was the abuser, typically a man who is husband or intimate partner, who was abusive. Such statements make the person who committed the offense, invisible. More specifically it is the use of passive language that results in making the perpetrator invisible. For example, a phrase like a woman was raped should be replaced by, “A man raped a woman.” The rape did not just happen, but rather the rapist committed a brutal act. The idea is to focus attention on the person responsible. Accountably speaking we might say a woman was in a relationship with an abuser or he is abusive to his intimate partner. Another example is exposed by the question, “How many women will be raped or assaulted in this year?” Do we ever hear, “How many men will rape or assault this year?”

Other examples of the language of accountability
Once, when discussing accountable language during a staff training, we looked up on the wall to see a bumper sticker that said, “Every 15 seconds a woman is assaulted.” Our objection at the time was not with the accuracy of the information but that the statement failed to focus on the cause of these assaults. “Every 15 seconds a man assaults a woman!” would be an accountable description.

During a dinner conversation, Barry, and his partner, Sharon, were discussing a series of disastrous calamities in their home caused by the builder who seemed to have deliberately sabotaged their house. After hearing about one emergency repair after another, Phyllis said it was the first time she actually understood the true meaning of an “abusive home“, since too often the phrase “abusive home” is misused to invisiblize a man who repeatedly abuses his partner in their home.

The police and media often refer to incidents in which a man brutalizes his wife or girl friend as a “domestic dispute.” This describes a man’s criminal assault as if it were some kind of mutual problem, even-sided engagement, or tame dispute, rather than an act of brutality. When a mugger assaults and robs a cab driver, it is not described as a “fare dispute.”

Unaccountable language hides responsibility
The use of accountable language is not a technicality or merely a play on words, but rather an issue with profound social consequences. The systemic use of unaccountable language minimizes men’s abuse of women, fails to take his abuse seriously, and hides his responsibility for his actions. If we say “a woman was hurt” it seems like it just happened, as if on its own accord, or by accident, and there is nothing to be done about it. If instead we refer to the man who is hurting the woman, this requires assigning responsibility and taking action to stop him from hurting her again and provide consequences for the harm he caused.

Domestic violence is comprised of a wide range of tactics used by men to maintain power and to control their intimate partners The tactics are part of a pattern of coercive actions designed to maintain, what he believes (consciously or not), are his male privileges, to control his significant other. Historically, men were assigned, by social and legal norms, control over wives and families. Today, even though that is no longer legally, and for so many, morally, the case, an “abusive relationship” or “domestic dispute” makes it seem like a communications or relationship problem between the parties. It suggests counseling or therapy as a remedy instead of consequences to hold abusers accountable for abusive, controlling, and/or violent tactics.

Social Consequences of unaccountable language
As a society our constant use of unaccountable language gives still another advantage to abusers. Unaccountable language, embedded in all dominant institutions, including the judicial system, leads police, prosecutors, defense attorneys, and judges in domestic violence custody cases to confidently assume that both parties share equal blame for not getting along. They often tell the parties they are equally responsible for the problems in the relationship and they must start to cooperate, get therapy, or anger management classes. When a mother attempts to protect her children or limit contact with an abusive father, she is routinely blamed for not getting along rather than recognized for what is a normal reaction to a partner’s abuse.

If we are going to end or at least reduce the use of unaccountable language in this society, those of us working in the battered women’s movement must take the lead and must set an example to use accountable language. Politicians often use phrases like “mistakes were made” Instead of saying, “I made a mistake.” We want society to be clear that men ,who abuse and mistreat the women they are partnered with, are responsible for their actions. We are asking presenters and others working to end domestic violence to join us in striving to use accountable language.


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Filed under battered women, domestic abuse, domestic violence, men ending violence against women