How abusers isolate victims

isolationWays an abuser isolates his victim.

1. Shuts down the phone. He doesn´t trust the people she is calling or those who are calling her so he´ll cut the line or disconnect the house phone and may confiscate or break her cell phone so nobody can contact her.

2. Controls Internet access. He doesn´t want her to connect with her friends or family using email, Facebook, Twitter, or chat, so he turns off the computer or controls Internet access. If she is allowed to be online, he may control and monitor her activity. He may demand that she give him her passwords and otherwise monitor what websites she has visited. He may post inappropriate photos or messages to her accounts to get friends and family to “unfriend” or block her accounts.

3. Controls the money. He may not want her to work. If she does work, he will still control the money. Having her be totally financially dependent on him gives him the power to manipulate and control her. She can’t make purchases, go where she wants, or even access medical care without asking his permission and approval. The bank account, debit cards, etc. are only in his name.

4. Keeps car keys. He may make sure there is only one car, and he will control the keys.

5. Raises barriers between her and family and friends. He will find excuses for turning down invitations from her family and friends. He doesn’t want to attend her family events. He  doesn’t allow her to call or visit her parents as often as she would like. He manipulates, causes or exacerbates tensions or problems between family members, resulting in cold and distant relationships between them.

An abusive man uses isolation as the number one tool in order to make her believe that she is alone, that nobody loves her and nobody is going to help her. When she feels helpless, the more power he has over her.

These things are not true. Her family and friends DO CARE about her. HELP IS AVAILABLE.

If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to find a program in your area. 1-800-799-7233

If you are in Morgan County or other county in Northeast Colorado call 1-877-867-9590 Toll Free.