- Helping You Understand Domestic Violence -

What Is & Is Not Abuse:

Abuse is one person using power and control OVER another. Both partners cannot have that kind of control. The abused partner may fight back, but there is a difference between abuse and self-defense.

Abuse is not about both partners just "fighting it out" all the time. Abuse can happen regardless of the length of relationship or living situation.

Signs Of Abuse

Physical Abuse

  • Pushed or shoved you
  • Restrained you from leaving
  • Slapped or bit you Kicked, choked, hit, or punched you
  • Locked you out of the house
  • Abandoned you in a dangerous place
  • Refused to help you when you were sick, injured, or pregnant
  • Subjected you to reckless driving
  • Forced you off the road or kept you from driving
  • Threatened or hurt you with a weapon
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    Stalking & Cyberstalking

  • Followed you
  • Quizzed you about where you have been, whom you were with, etc.
  • Listened to or monitored your phone calls
  • Called you at work or friends' homes
  • Sent threatening or obscene email to locate or harass you
  • Sent you a multitude of junk email, spamming you
  • Harassed you via live chat or flaming (online verbal abuse)
  • Sent you electronic viruses
  • Sent you unsolicited emails
  • Traced your computer and internet activity
  • Stole your electronic/internet identity
  • Posted improper or enticing information on message boards & guest books using your name, phone number, or email address, resulting in subsequent responses being sent to you
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    Emotional & Verbal Abuse

  • Ignored your feelings
  • Ridiculed or insulted women as a group
  • Ridiculed or insulted your most valued beliefs, your religion, race or heritage
  • Withheld approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment
  • Continually criticized you, called you names, shouted at you
  • Insulted or drove away your friends or family
  • Humiliated you in public or private
  • Refused to socialize with you
  • Kept you from working, controlled your money or made all decisions
  • Refused to work or share money
  • Took car keys or money away
  • Regularly threatened to leave or told you to leave
  • Threatened to kidnap the children if you left
  • Abused pets to hurt you
  • Told you about affairs in which the abuser has been engaged
  • Harassed you about affairs the abuser imagined you were having
  • Manipulated you with lies and contradictions
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    Sexual Abuse

  • Told anti-women jokes or made demeaning remarks about women
  • Treated women as sex objects
  • Been jealously angry, assuming you would have sex with another
  • Insisted you dress in a more sexual way than you wanted
  • Minimized the importance of your feelings about sex
  • Criticized your sexuality
  • Insisted on unwanted and uncomfortable touching
  • Raped you
  • Withheld sex or affection
  • Called you derogatory
  • sexual names like "Whore" or "Frigid"
  • Publicly showed sexual interest in other people
  • Had affairs with others after agreeing to a monogamous relationship
  • Forced you to have unwanted sex with others or forced you to watch others
  • Forced particular unwanted sexual acts
  • Forced sex after physical violence
  • Forced sex when you were sick or it was dangerous to your health
  • Forced sex for the purpose of hurting you with objects or weapons
  • Committed sadistic sexual acts
  • The facts you should know about domestic violence
  • Domestic Violence is a leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44.
  • More pregnant women die from homicide than any other cause.
  • More than 300,000 women annually are victims of domestic violence during pregnancy.
  • The risk of severe assault increases dramatically when victims leave.
  • If you beleive someone you care about is being hurt by their partner
  • Educate yourself by contacting us or another domestic violence agency
  • Listen to the person you are concerned about, in a nonjudgmental manner
  • Let them know there are resources available
  • Understand that leaving an abusive relationship is a difficult thing to do
  • Allow your friend to make decisions at her own pace